Unusual circumstances took me to see United 93 tonight. I think it was quite well done and is a fitting tribute to those who were killed by the terrorists on 9/11. Definitely not a film for the faint of heart, it was quite intense as the plot moved along, and the ending is handled pretty well.

It wasn't a tear-jerker for me, if only because the original 9/11 events never unsettled me. That doesn't speak particularly well for my state of mind at the time, but such is the reality of things. One of these days, it may hit, but that day has not yet come.

It's not so much that I don't see the danger staring us in the face, but that I don't have a tangible impression of it. God often needs to whack me as it is to grab my attention, and this is no different. Knowledge is one thing - experience is entirely another.

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Citigroup recently made the decision to sell off its banking operations in Buffalo to M&T Bank, so sometime in the next few months, my accounts should be moved over from Citibank to M&T. I plan, however, on simply closing my account as soon as I get home and setting up the new one at M&T instead of possibly getting signed up for the wrong type of account.

Honestly, this is for the better. M&T at least has a free checking account, which is probably what I'll sign up for once the transfer is made. The only thing I lose is overdraft protection, but honestly, I write so few checks, I'd hardly need that feature.

It still leaves me in the spot of needing two banks, since Steubenville and Buffalo have no banks in common, but at least I won't have to worry any more about heading off Citibank's exorbitant monthly charges.

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The exegesis paper came back today. The professor seems to have liked it, and therefore, I am done with that class. Too bad it's the only one of the four that will never see the light of day on a graduate transcript, but then again, I needed to do well to avoid getting tossed out.

Three more classes to go. Two papers, 25-30 pages, 2 exams. The semester is over at 12:30 pm next Friday.

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Tough times at Mass call for a new approach - in this case, just not looking. Earlier this week, something was irritating one of my eyes, so to help it out, I kept both eyes shut during Mass to give it a break - and no, I didn't nod off.

Oddly enough, this kept my mind from wandering as much during the Mass, and also made the Mass annoyances easier to deal with. I'm not sure exactly why, since everything that annoys me has to do with things like music and deviations from the Missal, and I still heard all of those. I tried this plan out again today, and found it did help in both ways again.

One of the more useful features of this sightless approach to Mass is not being distracted by extra-curricular things going on and getting added periods of silence which are normally lost to watching people move about. Even silent movement makes mental noise of a sort - nothing was more starkly different than having a quiet minute or two while the EME army was being taken care of and being blissfully unaware of their existence.

On an unrelated note, Tenebrae from a few weeks ago must have planted a couple seeds musically, since the plainchant approach to praying appears to have caught on with me. Plainchant of the sort used at our Tenebrae service is easy enough to pick up on, since the melody doesn't move around much and tends to stick mostly to one note. I can't sing a normal score for beans, but this I can manage. Yay for chanted prayer that you can make up as you go!

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Tonight was a fine time to take a day to rest and relax before the tail end of the semester comes down in what will likely be my busiest week ever.

The first 2 of my 4 papers were done on time, taking care of 25 pages. 25-30 pages remain for this upcoming Tuesday, of which 10 will hopefully be dispatched by early Saturday (yeah right - if I ever have a major assignment done more than 2 days in advance, I'll probably pass out).

Following that will be two final exams next Friday, my only two this semester, although just for kicks, the school scheduled them one right after the other. My writing hand is going to be dead tired when my semester ends May 5 at 12:30. I'll be cramming the 20 or so possible essay questions that will be offered up for those 2 exams on Wednesday and Thursday of next week.

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Phew! An 8-2 spanking of Philly by the Sabres, which caused their goalie to drop his gloves in the first period, the team to drop their discipline, and their coach to drop the f-bomb in his post-game comments. The only bad part was not being able to watch the fun on Comcast's webcast, since it wasn't compatible with my system.

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Nothing quite like listening to Rick Jeanneret calling a playoff hockey game, especially when the Sabres win. Granted, I would have liked it better if the Sabres hadn't let themselves get into a position where they needed a double overtime for a win, but a win's a win.

Game 2 is on Monday night.

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Leave it to the student body to make a farce out of two sacraments at one time. I should have known that the evening Mass would be trouble, given they were doing confirmations with the bishop there to administer the sacrament. I didn't count on the students managing to set a new low as far as my liturgical experience here goes (although had I been present at Easter Vigil, that may have been the low, what with the liturgical dancing that I'm told was there).

Almost as if by some twisted circumstance, a commenter recently made remarks about tongues being used during the Gloria. I hadn't noticed this before, but the girl next to me chose to make it loudly known that she was singing something other than the Gloria during it, as did a few other people nearby. And then of course, there was the applause called for in the program for the Mass after the candidates were presented - nothing I haven't seen before, but still annoying.

What really got to me was what happened once the bishop had finished. Even though there was nothing in the program to suggest it, virtually everybody in the pews stood up, clapped, cheered, whistled, whooped, and even a few cat calls were added in. It was like being at a football game instead of a Mass. Meanwhile, had I been spotted glued to my seat, my eyes would probably have looked like they were about to shoot fireballs. I have never had a situation at any Mass where I have felt so terrible as there - a weird mixture of anger, grief, and alienation, made worse by the tangible realization that I was about the only one abstaining. A silent protest is never something desirable during Mass.

What really shocks me is how this sort of reaction can go on at Mass. This is supposed to be among the most solemn things we do - and yet it ends up a banal affair with loud music, voices closer to shouting than singing, and numerous do-it-yourself elements. If there is a sense of the sacred, I have yet to find it, except for those times when serving when the Lord grants me the grace to shut out the entire thing.

I think that, barring any changes in the way the liturgy is run here, I am going to cease going to Masses here whenever the praise bands are playing. At this point, getting up at the crack of dawn sounds better than subjecting myself to this sort of spiritual torture.

End of rant (and yes, I am on a short string due to being tired).

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That was the first genuine all-nighter I've pulled in a while. And now, I'm catching a little nap.

On the plus side, my 12-15 page paper on faith and reason is now done, leaving me with 3 papers, with 35-40 pages between them, to do by May 2, followed by a pair of final exams on May 5. Two weeks more, and then hello to summer session.

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A useful lesson today from Dr. Hahn's lecture. Consider the following table:

The three Greek terms above, Ousia, Hypostasis, and Thelema mean Nature, Person, and Will respectively. The key point is that the number of wills corresponds to the number of natures - i.e. will comes from nature, not from personhood. The issues concerning lack of personhood with the unborn and those like Terri Schiavo come from assuming that the will comes from personhood - and that an inability to express one's will leads to a lack of personhood.

This philosophical error - not to mention a form of the Monothelite heresy - dates back to Kant. Apparently, this revelation was surprising to just about everyone, since the person/will connection is largely assumed these days.

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The Buffalo Sabres play the Philadelphia Flyers in the first round of this year's NHL playoffs. The Sabres have been quite exciting this year, and hopefully they can be a royal pain in Philly's side again in the playoffs. I hope I get ahead enough on my papers to enjoy the games.

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Vere resurrexit! Well, Easter was a bit of a liturgical letdown, given I came home. No matter how much the TOR fathers may irk me with their liturgies at Franciscan, I always find myself appreciating their Masses more every time I come back to the Buffalo diocese.

The Easter vigil was depressing. At my old childhood parish, the church was probably not even 1/4 full. This despite there being one of the largest parishes in the diocese. I cannot explain this - it has always been full every year, including last year. I hate to think the people have simply ceased caring, but I am at a loss as to any other reason for this. In another ominous sign, the parish had 0 adult conversions this year of any sort, just 1 teen baptism and 4 teen confirmations. Of course, "grave pastoral reasons" existed (a church vastly empty on Easter Vigil signals a problem to be sure), so 3 readings were tossed overboard. All in all, very underwhelming and not terribly uplifting. Easter Sunday wasn't much better. The music was good, and the priest's substance at least was good, although his delivery was something else.

The best part of Easter was reading this homily, found in the Liturgy of the Hours for Holy Saturday. And reading this interview with Dr. Alice von Hildebrand, which suddenly ties much together for me. It also explains for me why the Novus Ordo is actually a gift from God - if your priest isn't much into the transcendent, it is glaringly obvious in a way that wasn't true with the old Mass.

In other news, I made it all the way with my Lenten sacrifice - and dropped about 20 pounds in the process. I celebrated heartily with a Mountain Dew this afternoon. Sadly, it is not as tasty as it used to be. Perhaps that is all for the better.

A blessed Easter to all.

(N.B. - I will take care of the depressing blog layout in a few days when I get back to my computer.)

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...Non habemus regem, nisi Caesarem...

- John 19:15, Matt 27:25, Luke 23:34, Mark 15:38, John 19:30

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...Where I am going you cannot follow me now; but you shall follow afterward...

- John 13:36, 12:31-32

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More like Passion Sunday from my perspective, given current personal events, but that aside...

It's been a good Lent, and I will say more of this after the fact, but for now, I am simply going to post some hymns and perhaps selections from the Divine Office throughout the rest of Holy Week, and anything appearing during the Triduum will be pre-written.

Today's selection is taken from Daytime Prayer for Palm Sunday (and Evening Prayer for Holy Week):

O Sacred Head, surrounded
By crown of piercing thorn.
O Bleeding Head, so wounded,
Reviled and put to scorn.
Our sins have marred the glory
Of thy most holy Face,
Yet angel hosts adore thee,
And tremble as they gaze.

- Sir H.W. Baker (1821-1877)

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Upgrading 3rd party software is NOT fun. Visitors this evening may have noticed the menu acting haywire, which was the result of me continually swapping out old/new code, tinkering with the data files, and finally giving up and trying to restore the old version. Thankfully, the Internet Archive had a copy from which I was able to rebuild it. I have settled for changing a few links in the menu.

In other news, my gallery URL has changed. The new version can be found here (I know it's dumb, but the capital really does make a difference). Some new photos have been uploaded, including some from Franciscan University.

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Okay...my comment system has apparently been inoperable for about five months, something which I didn't find out until just tonight, since I never really got that many, and I had no alerts from the system or from readers that anything was wrong. Apparently, a plugin that was installed around that time has been causing the system to display an "entry does not exist" error to anyone who was trying to comment.

The plugins, the CCode and TCode anti-spam modules on Six Apart's siite, have been disabled. Should you wish to comment on any posts, past or current, please feel free to do so, the system is now working again.

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Time flies...way too fast. In my usual procrastinating ways, I've now left myself open to the following list of deadlines:

April 21 - 12 to 15 page research paper on Faith & Reason dialectic in Theology and Scripture (Status - Researching)
April 25 - 10 page exegesis paper on Rom 2:1-6 (Status - Researched, 1 page written)
May 2 - 10 page book review on Eschatology, by Ratzinger (Status - Reading book, ~200 pages left)
May 2 - 15-20 page paper on some aspect of Catholic history (Status - not even started)

These papers are worth, respectively, 33%, 40%, 50%, and 20% of the grades in the classes they are matched with. It's definitely not a great-looking situation, although I'm not terribly worried about the Eschatology book review (I pulled off a 15 page review last semester in under a day from scratch - all I need to do is have the book done by that point), and the 15-20 page paper isn't exactly making me nervous, given the relatively low worth of the paper. The key is going to be making sure I have the first two substantially done or out of the way by Easter to give myself breathing room on the last two. It still wouldn't be fatal if I wasn't done, but I really would prefer not closing this semester like the last.

In more positive news, since last Friday, I have polished off 3 books for the Ratzinger class, and in addition, got started on the last 2. These 2 are essentially the last reading assignments, leaving me free to do some research work. It's going to be a fun time. Blogging will definitely be light for the next month. Prayers are most welcome.

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The Office of Readings takes readings from only a few books during the Lenten/Easter season. This is the rough outline of the plan:

Ash Wednesday to end of 3rd Week of Lent: Exodus
4th Week of Lent: Leviticus & Numbers
5th Week of Lent to Holy Saturday: Hebrews
1st Week of Easter: 1 Peter
2nd Week of Easter through the 5th Week of Easter: Revelation
6th Week of Easter to Pentecost: 3 Letters of John

It's interesting that Revelation is put here within the Easter season, as well as the entirety of 4 of the pastoral epistles. The Lenten texts of the Old Testament history, followed by Paul's interpretation in Hebrews, is a good connection.

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Newspapers can be a source of controversy from time to time. Especially in a campus setting, when an article is written that touches a nerve with a fairly sizable contingent of the student body, in this case, the "music ministry".

An article was written that essentially takes the chapel to task for playing somewhat fast and loose with the liturgical guidelines on music, particularly the placement of the praise band - the sanctuary - and the sorts of instruments employed, as well as the general ignorance of those guidelines by some of those in charge.

Anyway, this was followed by a rebuttal, and now a rather sharp counter-rebuttal, which I have already heard rather unhappy people wanting to counter. Somehow, I don't think using the language "rape of the liturgy" was the best way to work constuctively on this, however much I sympathize with that assessment.

It will be interesting to see where this leads, and who gets the last word, seeing as the year is winding to a close.

N.B. - I will try to gather the relevant articles and update this post.

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Hard to believe it's been a year since Pope John Paul II died. Even harder to believe that I really don't have anything much to say about it, or any particularly fond memories to share. I think this is because I honestly paid very little attention to the pope until really the last year or two he was alive. That's my loss, but the memories and reflections of others are a wonderful reminder of a great pope.

Ioannes Paulus II, ora pro nobis

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The Liturgy of the Hours provides several hymns for Lent, and another group for Holy Week. Some of these have been sung in the liturgies over here (The Glory of These Forty Days being the major one). It's sometimes difficult to know the title, but I'll post first lines...

LENT

- Lord, who throughout these forty days
- This is our accepted time, this is our salvation
- Draw near, O Lord
- When I survey the wondrous cross
- Keep in mind that Jesus Christ has died for us
- The Master came to bring good news
- When from the darkness comes no light
- Let all mortal flesh keep silence
- Now let us all with one accord in fellowship with ages past
- Creator of the earth and skies
- Lord, your glory in Christ we have seen
- Praise to the holiest in the height
- The glory of these forty days
- Grant to us, O Lord, a heart renewed
- With hearts renewed by living faith
- Take up your cross
- Aude, benigne Conditor
- Iesu, quadragenariae
- Precemur omnes cernui
- Iam, Christe, sol iustitiae

HOLY WEEK

- When I survey the wondrous cross
- Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
- O Sacred Head
- Keep in mind that Jesus Christ has died for us
- This I ask: that you love each other
- Have mercy, O Lord
- Lord, your glory in Christ we have seen
- I shall praise the Savior's glory
- The word of God, proceeding forth
- Take up your cross
- O Sacred Head
- My loving Savior
- Christ, victim for the sins of men
- Vexilla regis prodeunt
- Pange lingua
- En acetum, fel, arundo

Generally speaking, I like the hymns here, since they seem to be quite the contrary of the music the USCCB's recent document on music refers to as "popular". These hymns quite often reference the Father, use a Trinitarian structure, and Christ.

On an interesting sidenote, Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence, a song referred to in this report for improper tense usage, is actually rendered in the present tense here - "descendeth" has been rendered "descends now" in each case.

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The site was down for about 10 hours today, in a rather unpleasant excuse for an April Fools joke. Since the company also decided not to have anyone around on their support staff, it was impossible to reach anyone during that time. I suppose when you go low-end on the hosting plans, inefficient service is to be expected, but I thought the idea of that 50% hike they enacted last fall was to prevent this kind of thing. Then again, when I logged on tonight, I got this from the tech help...

Broadcast: [User] has asked "What is my modernbill ID number?"
Tech: Hi,
Tech: How can I help you?

I admit, I was stunned, as I thought I had laid out in pretty simple terms what I needed help with. I also like how the conversation always ends with "is there anything I can help you with?" It's a wonder the company manages to stay in business, although I must say, this has been the first long-term problem I've had in nearly 3 years with them.

Now I get to see whether the company will try to play hardball about this, since per the Terms of Service, a downtime of that magnitude entitles me to the entire $4.95 monthly fee back.

UPDATE: An e-mail came this morning confirming a credit for the monthly fee the next time I have to pay them (which is in July). This means I'll probably renew for another year, if only to get the credit, and because I'm unsure I could get any better deal for under $7 per month.

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Coming soon to a bookstore near you. Some excerpts...

And on the eighth day, God created the theologian. His job was to go about the garden and find profound truths. One day, as he was walking in the garden, he thought he had made a great discovery. He took it to Adam, and when Adam saw it, he called it by its name, b------t.

Now the serpent was concerned that the theologian had been created more cunning than he. So one day, the serpent approached the theologian to tempt him. "Did God say there was any tree you must not eat from?" He asked. "The tree in the middle of the garden, so Adam tells me." "Why listen to him? If God did not tell you himself, surely it must not be wrong." "You have wisdom. I will go and eat of the tree." So the theologian went and ate, and then gave some to Adam. The serpent was then satisfied that he was the most cunning of God's creatures.

When God asked Adam why he had eaten of the fruit, he said to God, "I only ate because the theologian, whom you gave me, gave some to me to eat." "Why did you do such a thing?" God asked him. "I only ate because I didn't hear you say it personally. Why didn't you tell me?" Then God said, "You never asked me."

And the theologian said to the people, come, let us take these simple truths and cram them into books. Then we will stack the books one on top of the other and build a giant tower to heaven. The theologian called the tower the Summa Babelogica. When God saw the tower, his wrath was kindled against the theologian, and he said, "Come, let us go down there and confuse them, that they may not undestand." However, realizing that the theologian was already confused, he confused the speech of the people so that they could not understand him.

And when Moses came down from the mountain, and saw the people worshipping the calf, he threw down the tablets, breaking them. The theologian looked at the broken pieces and said, "The Law has been destroyed! Dance with joy, O Israel!" Incensed, Moses threw the theologian and the calf into the furnace. The theologian was returned unscathed. And God said to Moses, "This one cannot be destroyed by earthly fire." And Moses said, "Have mercy on your people, Lord!" So God remade the tablets that Moses had broken, and said "Amen, amen, I say to you, not one tittle of the law shall he ever be able to change."

When Joshua came to Jericho, he gave a bullhorn to the theologian, telling him to march around the city for seven days, preaching to the people. On the seventh day, the people of the city blew up the walls and ran and slaughtered themselves on the swords of the Israelites, unable to take it anymore.

The disciples asked Jesus why they had not been able to cast out the devil from the theologian. Jesus replied, "this kind can only be driven out by prayer and fasting."

If you come forward to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for the dissident. Set your heart right and do not be hasty in times of screaming. Cleave to the Lord and do not listen to them, that you may be honored at the end of your life. Reject whatever they bring upon you, and in their temper-tantrums be patient. For gold is tested in fire, and acceptable men in the furnace of vitriol. Trust in the Lord and he will help you.

Therefore, you have excuse, o people, whoever you are, because the theologian tells you so. We know that the judgment of God never falls upon those who believe that they are good people, for God will judge everyone according to their self-image.

This is an april fool's joke. Extra points though if you can figure out what TAF means, and what passages have been used for the last 2 entries.

N.B. - All except the last 3 entries were originally composed in January. The entry was never published, but today seems a convenient time to do so.

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